Question: Why do I need to be famous?

Answer: so I can be rich.

Question: Why do I need to be rich?

Answer: There are far too many reasons to list, but right now I’m only focusing on one thing: If I was rich I could buy Harry and David Royal Riviera Pears.

Let me tell you a story about a little girl. She was quite spoiled and she got anything she wanted, including Harry and David Royal Riviera Pears every holiday. They were the most juicy pieces of fruit in the whole world and biting into a fresh pear was like swimming in a pool full of tiramisu (only way healthier).

Fast forward to now: that little girl was me and I still love those pears. Unforunately those pears are for rich people: $36.95 for 6 of them. I can buy 3 lbs of crack for $36.95, so there is no way I’d waste that money on pears, but I’m just saying… if I was rich I would keep my fridge stocked with those delicious pieces of heaven and the world would be a better place.