Question: Why do I need to be famous?

Answer: so I can be rich. Question: Why do I need to be rich? Answer: There are far too many reasons to list, but right now I’m only focusing on one thing: If I was rich I could buy Harry and David Royal Riviera Pears. Let me tell you a story about a little girl. […]

The almost perfect weekend.

Last week work was HELL. I usually work quite well under stress, but I’m having a hard time with one of my co-workers. It’s like every word she says to me or about me makes me want to scratch my eyeballs out. Yes–the whistler has struck again, but now she has added the blame game, […]

Sometimes I wish I could…

Wear gaucho pants and have them look really cool on me. Eat whatever I want and not have the calories count. Sing Karaoke without sounding horrible/being embarrassed. Wear sweatpants to work and pass them off as dress pants. Have a dance party when I get tired during the day without my co-workers thinking I’m a […]

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

I live in a small town. Even smaller than the town where Sarah Palin was the mayor– HEY-YO I’ll be here all night. My whole COUNTY has about 16,000 people. Most of y’all live in developments or city blocks that hold more than that. I’ve lived here all my life which means I know almost […]

I was going to make up an awesome story…

I was going to make up an awesome story about my weekend to support the title of this post, but I don’t like to lie to y’all. We need to keep our blogger trust intact. I’m just kind of obsessed with Pink’s new song “So What” and I wanted to channel it for this entry. […]

Whistle While You Work

OR HOW ABOUT NOT. Dearest blogosphere– I have a problem. I have a co-worker who whistles. It gets worse. She doesn’t even whistle a SONG. She just… twirps. Like she’s a fucking bird or something. If it happens again today I have a few different plans of attack. 1) Sing along. I’ll follow her lead […]

What are the odds?

Friday night I met up with the BFF for drinks with a friend, we’ll call him S, that we’ve known since kindergarten. He moved away in 9th grade, but every once and a while he comes back from college break and we get a few drinks together. We headed to one of the three local […]

A Word from Ben

Hi. It’s me again. The one who on occasion shows up here with quite possibly the coolest stories ever told only to all of a sudden be ripped down from his throne of coolness by the realization that the story might just be a lame urban legend that I have been fooled into telling all […]

A Whirlwind Weekend

I’m not sure when I’ll get to recover from this weekend, but let me just throw out there that it was pretty damn amazing. Friday night I hung out with some friends I haven’t seen in a while. We had a few drinks and lounged around watching movies. I = ridiculous because instead of just […]

I see you baby

It had been far too long since I wrote a post about how much I hate something and after logging on to MySpace I figured out the perfect thing to hate– babies. More specifically, baby showers. ed note: I know some pretty cool mom bloggers and I guess I like their babies (of course I […]