Cause I’m too lazy to do the full 25.

1. I’m the anti-American Idol contestant. Growing people told me I could sing, but I am fully aware that I cannot. I don’t sound like an animal dying or anything, but it’s not good. 2. That said, I still love to sing. While I’m going through my google reader I usually have music playing and […]

I’m gonna go ahead and throw this out there.

his story is horrible. Boys you can go ahead an leave now. Or you can read it…whatever. It’s still hilarious. This your last warning. Get out before you’re scarred for life. The summer before 10th grade I started dating this guy named Ryan. Let me tell you, he was basically the worst match for me […]

If the world were perfect:

all married men would wear wedding rings. How the hell am I supposed to tell who is off limits if they’re all bare-handed. i would be allowed to fire anyone I want even though I’m not the boss– and not even give a reason. don’t you just want to strangle people sometimes?! the weekend would last forever. who […]

Communication is essential in today’s world

I love to talk and I can’t imagine how difficult life would be without talking. At work I am teaching a group of deaf students (and will be until Friday) and it has been an amazing experience. It was definitely weird though, when we walk around the museum I like to talk about where we […]

Where’d They Go?

Two Halloweens ago I got the bright idea to accompany my best friend to his favorite gay bar for Halloween. I thought drag queens + Halloween would make them even MORE entertaining (if that’s at all possible.) In theory I was probably right. In execution I was WAY wrong. It was my first Halloween being […]

Oh Scarcity!

I know the economy sucks. I know we need to teach our children to save their pennies and value the dollar. Blah, blah, blah. BUT REALLY? Do you think ruining christmas songs for 2nd graders around the world is the way to do it? I hung out with the BFF over the weekend and he […]

Tell Me Why

I have a ritual. Right before I get in the car to make any semi-long trip I buy a giant red bull. Not only is it delicious, but it gives me something to sip on for the long ass drive. Here’s the problem. By the time I get to my destination I have to pee […]

A Hate Letter to Dupont Circle

You’ve always been good to me. I know I don’t visit you often, but the few times I have it has been awesome. A few years ago I visited you for the gay pride parade, had a great dinner, and forgot to call. I’m sorry. You know how it is. I was young and stupid. […]

I bow to your excellence.

I’ve always been a little bit jealous of celebrities. Maybe it’s the money– but we all know money can’t buy happiness. (I don’t actually believe that. I’m just pretending to be a Good Person.) Maybe it’s the fame– but we all know I’m already famous. Duh. Maybe it’s the personal assistant–okay. No negative comments there. […]

I miss them.

Last night I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep and I was day-dreaming of having all the money in the world. It’s normally what I do right before I go to bed because that way I’m happy and I dream about being super rich. I have an active imagination. But for some reason […]