I’m gonna go ahead and throw this out there.

his story is horrible.

Boys you can go ahead an leave now. Or you can read it…whatever. It’s still hilarious.

This your last warning. Get out before you’re scarred for life.

The summer before 10th grade I started dating this guy named Ryan. Let me tell you, he was basically the worst match for me in the world, but I dated him because he was a Senior and he had a beautiful voice. My standards were obviously extremely high.

After spending every single day at the town pool with him, we decided to make it official. This meant that it was time to introduce him to my parents. Pretty important at the time since I was too young to have a drivers license and all.

I brought him home for dinner one day at the end of the summer. My mom made spaghetti and my dad ate dinner with no pants on because he thought it was hilarious. Thanks, dad.

After finishing dinner we went into the living room to “watch a movie.” Being the teenagers that we were, you know what this really means. Somehow I ended up on his lap doing some heavy making out/humping. After like… forever he said “oh my god, you’re so wet.” (he was so eloquent!)

I thought things felt a little… different down there, but I was young. I didn’t really know what to expect.