I bow to your excellence.

I’ve always been a little bit jealous of celebrities.

Maybe it’s the money– but we all know money can’t buy happiness. (I don’t actually believe that. I’m just pretending to be a Good Person.)

Maybe it’s the fame– but we all know I’m already famous. Duh.

Maybe it’s the personal assistant–okay. No negative comments there. I’d love to have a personal assistant. Any takers?

But there’s one thing I’m WAY more jealous of. The magical trick that all female celebrities know from birth: the I’ve got to pee, look how skinny I am, look at my hot shoes stance.

I know… it doesn’t look that hard, but trust me, there’s no graceful way to get into that stance unless you’re using MAGIC.

You can get up and try it now if you want.

I’ll wait. Even the boys, please.

Now remember– there are going to be paparazzi taking your picture every second so no awkward leaning against the wall to get there please. I’ve decided the most important part is to just jump into it and if you fall down blame it on the booze.

Harder than it looks, right?