Emotions are a tricky thing.

At one point or another in our mental development and growth, emotions ebb and wane like the tides. There was a time when, as a child, unbridled glee and wanton disregard sprung forth from overflowing cups. As teenagers, rage frothed from every orifice.

As adults, we eventually learned to control them, refine them, reign them in. Barring that, we learned how to properly articulate the wide range of feelings we experienced.

Maybe we do it all too well.There is no worse feeling in the world than pent up emotions: when you wall them in. When your stomach is a-flutter with butterflies, or your legs are shaking from anxiety, or your head is spinning from anguish and disbelief.

There is an unconscionable torture when a heart is filled to bursting point, emotions threatening to explode its very seams.

Now instead of “heart”, think “gut”

And instead of “emotions”, think “crap”.

That’s how constipation feels.

I haven’t had a bowel movement since Monday.

Bet you weren’t expecting that, were you?