During my first semester in college I decided it would be an Awesome Idea to pledge a sorority. During the rush period I absolutely fell in love with one and even though the whole ordeal was kind of expensive, I had to join.

Apparently 3 of my friends from my high school felt the same way.

I was a little peeved because I though joining the sorority would be a way for me to get AWAY from all of my friends from high school and make sure that the shenanigans I pulled wouldn’t get back to everyone at home.

Fail.

But it turns out I wasn’t the one about to pull some shit.

My roommate Amy and Becky (two of the high school buds) went to a frat party with a few sisters one night. Things got a little out of hand as they always do, and the ladies ended up on top of the bar in the frat house. Without much encouragement they started to strip for their audience. At some point between taking off their t shirts and their bras a few or the more responsible sisters got concerned and decided that since Amy and Becky were just pledges it probably wasn’t a good idea for them to be naked in a frat house (at least this soon in the game, you know).

Amy jumped off the bar with ease, but Becky was a little bit…gone. She had to be physically pulled off the bar and somehow she landed with one foot in a huge trash can and one foot on the ground.

Yep. She basically fell on her crotch.

Although the girls knew they were in trouble, there’s not much more they could do. They headed back to the dorm to sleep off the alcohol. They’d have to face their punishment in the morning.

In the middle of the night Becky woke up with horrible pain in her crotch. When she went to the bathroom to check it out, she found a huge, hard ball where she had fallen on the edge of the trashcan. She woke Amy up and they went to the Emergency Room.

The nurse that checked them in assumed that they were just drunk idiots and made them wait FOUR HOURS in the waiting room. When Becky finally got called back to the room, the doctor checked her out she was shocked to find out that the ball was a ball of BLOOD that had formed or whatever. I’m not sure what the medical term for this is, but I like to refer to it as ifuckedupmycrotchitis.

The doctor said they could drain the thing, but before the had a chance to it busted. Yep.

Becky couldn’t walk for 6 weeks and had to drop out of school for the semester… because she BROKE HER CROTCH.