What’s Your Range?

Oh, high school. How I miss you and your sexually adventurous ways. The story I am going to tell today happened right after I started having sex. I was 16 and dating a much more “mature” (polite way of saying manwhore) guy who knew his way around the ropes. (what the fuck does that even […]

Money Money Money Money

Now that you have some background music for your reading, I can tell you about my problem. I need a job. No, no–don’t worry I still have my current job. I just need a career, and because I’m lazy I’m leaving it up to everyone else to pick one for me. I am about to […]

Hold Me

Ugh, life is hard–and by life I mean Monday through Friday. My weekend was amazing, but my feet are covered in blisters. From this fact alone you can narrow my activities down to a) acting out the scene from The Office where Michael challenges everyone to walk on hot coals, b) going all annie lennox […]

Just Can’t Get There

I’m not really into tooting my own horn (lie), but one thing I will say about myself is I am a pretty nice person. Don’t get me wrong, for the sake of comedic effect I can be kinds of evil, but generally I like to be sweet and kind. Today I’m going to tell you […]